text; un: 🍥🍜

[acknowledgement]

(≡ ｀ｗ´≡)/
hey everyone!
i'm Uzumaki Naruto
um in my world we give family name first
so you can just call me Naruto!

listen…
i have an important question that i'd like to hear your opinions on

some people doubt this place is really the afterlife
and if we’re actually dead

but let’s say there’s a chance we can all return to our own dimensions, alive
…would you want to?
or would you prefer to stay here instead, permanently?

it’s kinda personal, so i get it if you wanna use the
uh
anonymous
thingy
just don’t ask me how to switch it on
because idk (that means i don’t know)

oh also
if anyone needs help with anything
or wants to tackle some missions together
i'm your shinobi!

[Sorry, Sasuke and Sakura. Naruto forgot the “keep our profession/backgrounds a secret” rule. (And already broke the rule several times over.)]

Comments

un: 火 / 🔒

[chokuto]

[Let's limbo beneath all the more sensitive contents of this post and get straight to the part that annoys him most.]

How much have you told people? Twice I've been approached by name when I never gave it. What are you saying about me?

[acknowledgement]

jeez bastard
i haven't said anything bad about you!

[But wait...what if people are harassing Sasuke?]

who

[Bruh he'd be rolling up his sleeves right now if he had two hands.]

text ↪ un: 十五

[zangetsu]

oy, fishcake guy.

what do you mean by shinobi???

[acknowledgement]

oh
uh
hehehehehe

just a little joke

[He can already hear Sakura's message screaming at him.]

un: jonas.

[coherer]

(easiest question he's had to answer since he got here.)

Put me down for the "I really, really, really want to go home" option, man. It's not even personal to me, so feast your eyes on my misery, thread stalkers.

I'm just not cut out for this kind of stuff.

1/2

[acknowledgement]

IT WASN'T A KISS

audio ↪ un: 012601 🔒

[craters]

（ screech ）

Naruto!!

Stop telling people we're shinobi!!

[acknowledgement]

[Naruto actually fumbles the phone and drops it in his haste to apologize.]

S-sorry Sakura-chan! I completely forgot! Ahaha...don't worry, I'll fix it!

[Press (X) to doubt.]

@harukaze

[janescayre]

[While this guy's coming off a few noodles short of a bowl, he's the first one to openly touch on her current theory. That alone is enough for Fukawa to drag her sorry carcass in here.]

I'm glad someone else is suspicious of this place. It's the crappiest afterlife ever conceived. Why are we still using the bathroom and able to die?

[HIERARCHY EXPLAIN]

And please, who wouldn't rather go back? Even hell on earth is better than hell in practice.

[acknowledgement]

[Unfamiliar with the username, Naruto responds without realizing her identity (well, one of her identities).]

hehehehe
crappiest
using the bathroom
i'd clap if i had two hands

but that’s how i feel too
my friend from home is a doctor
and she hasn’t found evidence that we’re dead
medically i mean

not to mention this afterlife isn’t anything like what’s been described to us
at least not from our dimension

see i thought the same thing at first
about everyone wanting to go back home
except my doctor friend helped me realize
some people might have it even worse there
i need to hear from them, if they’re willing to talk to me

cuz i haven’t mentioned this to anyone yet but
what if the way home reverses things for EVERYONE?
and we can’t just pick and choose who gets to stay
and who gets to go home?
idk it’s just something i've been thinking about…

Text

[zauneyete]

I can't imagine anyone would actually want to stay here. Disregarding even the minute detail of possibly showing up here against our will...

What advantage does this place offer over anywhere else?

[acknowledgement]

i thought the same thing!
but some people might have it even worse
back in their home worlds

it sounds like that's not a problem for you though right?

ᴜɴ: ᴛᴏʏᴍᴀᴋᴇʀ.

[lackluster]

[ Time to ignore everything in this post except for one Very Important Detail. ]

You're a shinobi?

Don't they usually like to keep that a secret? You know, being a covert agent and all.

[ Yeah, he's pointedly pointing this thing that's supposed to be a secret so it stops being a secret, ]

not here

[craters]

（ she's gonna kill him. ）

@dewdrop

[declass]

Wow!
You are really asking the deep questions.
I have to think about this.

[acknowledgement]

okay!

[Five minutes pass.]

are you done thinking yet

un: jjang

[pyojeol]

what about u?
u cant just ask without answering first

[he can actually....]

[acknowledgement]

me? that's easy
i gotta get back home! me and my friends
but i do hope we can leave this place in better shape than how we found it...

okay now your turn!

un: traveler

[unalign]

[ definitely not answering the staying here question. too complicated. ]

That's a first.

[acknowledgement]

what is?

un: hawkins

[rattlingthestars]

Yeah, of course I would want to go back. What kind of question is that?

There's some stuff I had left to do, and I want to take care of the guys that killed me.

[acknowledgement]

it's an important question!
not everyone might feel the same obviously

wait you were murdered???

[ anonymous ]

[appeale]

i don't want to stay here.
but i really, really don't want to go back.
and the way things were, if i went back then i might just die again anyway.

[acknowledgement]

see that's the kind of thing i was afraid of...
can you describe your situation?
is there some way we could protect you if you were sent back?
what if we trained you in self defense?
or is it something else that you're in danger of?

text; un: warder

[heavenstorn]

'Shinobi', are you? Are you Doman?

[ Someone else from his star?? ]

[acknowledgement]

[Sorry, Cedrik. You're still quite alone.]

what's Doman

also i was just kidding about the shinobi thing
hehehehehe
silly me!!

[#convincing]

text — un: LAURENT

[wrists]

[ it's time he spoke to this idiot, and he's 98% certain he can present whatever persona he chooses because there's so little chance sasuke has decided to develop a personality and describe any of their encounters with his friend.

innocently — ]

i need help with something. since you're offering.
i'm having trouble making friends. i could use detailed advice on how to attain some.

un: 火 / 🔒

[chokuto]

[It's true he hasn't spoken about Laurent, hence why he decides to intercede where Naruto won't know.]

If you're only going to mess with him, don't expect that I'll ignore it. You'll have to answer to me.

["I don't trust you not to be an asshole."]

text ↪ un: retort

[nagano]

1) I'm going home the first chance I get. And if there are no chances for me to take, then I'll make them.

2) How'd you like the udon last week? Want me to make you and your friends something different?

3) What kind of ninja announces himself as one to the general public?

[acknowledgement]

1. me too! i've been searching for ways home every day but i haven't found anything yet...
i'll let you know if something comes up though!

b) IT WAS SO GOOD! i can't believe how much i missed it
i definitely wanna treat Sasuke and Sakura-chan
would you be able to make some of their favorites?
i'll find a way to repay you!

3) HEHEHEHEHEHE
FOOLED YA
it was just a joke!
can't believe how many people fell for it!

[S-see, Sakura? Naruto's convincing people he's not really a ninja! Ha...ha...]

text [ un: daughter-sea ]

[seaboard]

If my time has passed, then it is passed, and I should not wish to rile against it. Death is the price of life, and it is natural.

[acknowledgement]

whoa...
that's pretty deep

but what if you're not really dead though?
and this place is lying to you?

un: songbird

[windsongs]

I don't think anyone actually wants to stay tbh
but I'd wanna take something from here back with me if I can

[acknowledgement]

well hate to break it to ya
but you're wrong about that
some people's situations back home are even worse

ooooooh? whatcha got?
something special?
wait it's not
infused with a soul or anything
is it

text — un: harrington ;

[fawcetted]

seriously? hell no, man

if there's any chance at all we can get out of here i'm gonna take it

no hesitation

[ Apparently the 'shinobi' stuff means something, but it'll swiftly go over Steve's head. ]

[acknowledgement]

i don't blame you
i feel the same way
though i'm not leaving without my friends
ya know?

[boarwitness]

Why are you asking this.

[acknowledgement]

cuz it's important to understand different perspectives
i've made mistakes in the past where i assumed i understood people
when i really couldn't understand their situation at all
i'm trying not to make that mistake again

@EIVOR

[ulfrkysst]

I am of two minds. If it is my fate to die, I will die. However: I do not recall my death, and so I should like to return to my realm and have a proper death in battle.

[NOT HERE]

[redsoil]

[ sexy of you eivor ]

un: zagreus

[dodgeouttahell]

Hello.

May I ask why you're asking, in the first place?

[acknowledgement]

hiya
yeah! i'm asking cuz i'm trying to find a way home for everyone
but a friend pointed out not everyone might WANT to return to their homes
so it's important to me that i hear different perspectives first
i don't want to screw anybody over...ya know?

un: henruit

[fessus]

Who would actually want to stay here? Even if they didn't have much back home, this place is twisted.

[acknowledgement]

what if their home world is even more twisted?

text | un: yuheng

[rumination]

It does not matter what underworld we are in if we are dead.

I am well aware of my death. The reason was worthy; I would not trade it.

[acknowledgement]

so you definitely died?
you're the second person i've talked to
who seems sure that they're dead