[ANONYMOUS] | text | A few days after the festival (implied nsfw)

[janescayre]

[This message may be 100% anonymous, but perhaps you recognize the texting style? If you were bold enough to message her on Soulidarity perhaps you've figured it out at once. Otherwise, ~*~IT'S A MYSTERY~*~ Dare ye solve it?

At least one guy will recognize the culprit. Sucks to suck, Sylvain.]

HEEELLOOOOOO MY SWEET CHERRY PIE!! 🍒🥧🍒 Where are you right now? Are you dreaming about me?



Because I just can't get you out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I feel your body on mine. When I look to the fields I can't help the blush on my face! I've never gone that far with anyone before! Especially in public. And you're just so BIG 🤩!!! I couldn't believe it, I didn't think I could take you on. We made such a mess too, didn't we? 😜 Did you get it all out of your clothes? I had to scrub extra hard myself

When can I see you again? I'll be prepared this time. I promise. You're just the sweetest slice of heaven I've ever had, and I can't wait for another taste 😈

call me baby

XOXOXO 💋💋💋🍆🍑




[And like five seconds after this gets posted:]

OH NO IT GOT SENT TO EVERYONE 😱 HOW EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOBODY LOOK!!!!!! 😭😭

Comments

text ↪ un: 012601

[craters]

（ but thINK OF THE CHILDREN????

it's her, she's children.

(she is not, in point of fact, any manner of child at all — but she is both perpetually horny and incredibly repressed so the fact remains) ）

Why '🍆🍑'?

（ she regrets it the liTERAL SECOND SHE SENDS IT BECAUSE WAIT, NO, SHE SEES IT — ）

Nevermind! Haha, figured it out! Thanks though!

（ SCREAMING INTERNALLY ）

a;skdfj;asdlkj hi

[janescayre]

[ugh MORE BITCHES?

what happened are men no longer horny in this world]

omg i'm so sorry!! are you inexperienced

there's no shame in that!! i didn't know anything either, not until he showed me.......😳

lmao i'm sorry i keep just dropping in!!

[craters]

My experience is none of your business, thanks!!

Please tell me you used prophylactics, at least.

（ of course she says it like that. what a weirdo. what a doctor. what an absolute nerd. ）

NO PLEASE i love her...also i love surprise tag ins so much

[janescayre]

[lmfao what now]

what??

I don't think he used that part of me

or I of him

isn't that something only men have?

i am fast running out of scandalized expression icons... this is horrible, the absolute worst

[craters]

Some sort of countermeasure to prevent pregnancy!

Some people use pig intestine, things like that.

（ ninjas: not big fans of either sex ed or condoms. gotta keep those little ninja baby factories burning the midnight oil when you routinely have multi-country wars that wipe out a generation!! ）

it's time to face the real world sakura (1/2)

[janescayre]

EW

YOU WANT US TO USE PIG GUTS??????? FOR THAT???????

[janescayre]

wait

you don't think I could be?? 😲👶???
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

[philandery]

[ he's avoiding this post like the plague but also IT'S NOT LIKE THAT SAKURA!!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT HO ERA!!!!! ]

[craters]

（ SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM!!! ）

[philandery]

[ HOT HO SEASON FOR SAKURAS ONLY ]

text; un: fraldarius; hey i am so sorry

[boarwitness]

Explain it, then.

[midway]

[ help ]

sakura, meanwhile, ready for the urn

[craters]

It's probably something you should work out on your own.

（ that is. that is absolutely the calmest, most neutral response she can muster to this NO DON'T MAKE HER SAY THE WORD PENIS TO A CASUAL ACQUAINTANCE IN A SEXUAL CONTEXT!

she is a grown woman! she is a doctor! she has seen penises before! medical examinations! prostate exams! the human body holds no mysteries for her diligent and dedicated years of study!

but some lines just cannot be crossed! ）

[boarwitness]

I don't think you understand it either.

[craters]

That is a very sad, transparent attempt at reverse psychology.

（ and it's not going to work.

it's not.

nope.

not doing it.

nO SHE REFUSES TO —

ugh, fine. a single hint. if only because she likes being smart and lording that over other people like a goddamn gremlin because it's the one thing she's good at and you can't take it away from her!! ）

Think of it like a pictograph. What parts of the human anatomy might those two symbols represent?

[boarwitness]

[oh it's a sex thing






probably should've been obvious, in retrospect]

Fine. I understand the eggplant.

The peach means nothing.

[janescayre]

[this guy is savage damn]

do you want a demonstration instead?

[boarwitness]

No. You've done enough.

[janescayre]

and you haven't done nearly enough 😜

[boarwitness]

Don't talk to me. Stick to your cherry boy.

[chokuto]

[okay you're right he should interact with the one person on here he knows]

Why are you bothering to make sense of this?

[craters]

（ this is possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to her, personally, in the history of her entire life. that time she got ran through with a sword (x2)? no. not even comparable.

bring on the stabbing if it means she gets to Not Have This Conversation. ）

You never know when this sort of knowledge will be useful here!

A lot of people seem to use emojis as a form of code, after all.

（ don't you dare ask her. don't you dare. ）

[chokuto]

[You're basically begging him to ask if you say it's a code, Sakura.]

Was it? Useful?

I can tell without knowing the meaning of those symbols that whatever this woman has to say is vulgar and not worth my time.

🔒

[craters]

I don't know that I believe this post was an accident, and this level of aggression and deception is probably worth keeping an eye on for the future.

I think I'd rather know what's being intended by her implications than not.

（ people like this can be dangerous, even if it's ways that tend to concern women more than men... ）

🔒

[chokuto]

I don't think this woman is intelligent enough to have ulterior motives beyond attention.

[Which everyone has given her... including himself... 😞 who is the dummy here. Also, he's extra judgmental because this sounds like something Karin would say on a particularly unhinged day. Also, Sasuke is written by Kishimoto.]

Why is it our business? If the person this is directed to hasn't responded, he knows better than to engage.