[ANONYMOUS] | text | A few days after the festival (implied nsfw)

[janescayre]

[This message may be 100% anonymous, but perhaps you recognize the texting style? If you were bold enough to message her on Soulidarity perhaps you've figured it out at once. Otherwise, ~*~IT'S A MYSTERY~*~ Dare ye solve it?

At least one guy will recognize the culprit. Sucks to suck, Sylvain.]

HEEELLOOOOOO MY SWEET CHERRY PIE!! 🍒🥧🍒 Where are you right now? Are you dreaming about me?



Because I just can't get you out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I feel your body on mine. When I look to the fields I can't help the blush on my face! I've never gone that far with anyone before! Especially in public. And you're just so BIG 🤩!!! I couldn't believe it, I didn't think I could take you on. We made such a mess too, didn't we? 😜 Did you get it all out of your clothes? I had to scrub extra hard myself

When can I see you again? I'll be prepared this time. I promise. You're just the sweetest slice of heaven I've ever had, and I can't wait for another taste 😈

call me baby

XOXOXO 💋💋💋🍆🍑




[And like five seconds after this gets posted:]

OH NO IT GOT SENT TO EVERYONE 😱 HOW EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOBODY LOOK!!!!!! 😭😭

Comments

lmao i'm sorry i keep just dropping in!!

[craters]

My experience is none of your business, thanks!!

Please tell me you used prophylactics, at least.

（ of course she says it like that. what a weirdo. what a doctor. what an absolute nerd. ）

NO PLEASE i love her...also i love surprise tag ins so much

[janescayre]

[lmfao what now]

what??

I don't think he used that part of me

or I of him

isn't that something only men have?

i am fast running out of scandalized expression icons... this is horrible, the absolute worst

[craters]

Some sort of countermeasure to prevent pregnancy!

Some people use pig intestine, things like that.

（ ninjas: not big fans of either sex ed or condoms. gotta keep those little ninja baby factories burning the midnight oil when you routinely have multi-country wars that wipe out a generation!! ）

it's time to face the real world sakura (1/2)

[janescayre]

EW

YOU WANT US TO USE PIG GUTS??????? FOR THAT???????

[janescayre]

wait

you don't think I could be?? 😲👶???
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

[craters]

The way to Hale is accessible again.

You can probably find a physician there who specializes in that sort of thing.

（ could she do it? yes.

is she going to?

no. ）

[janescayre]

[WHAT A COP OUT]

No no i'd be far too ashamed!!! my virtue is already besmirched

you're smart with this sort of thing, aren't you? 🥺🥺 can't you help me?

[craters]

No, sorry.

I'm focused more on emergency medicine at the moment.

You're the only one that thinks your virtue is 'besmirched', sex is a completely normal and healthy thing.

Go to Hale.

[janescayre]

[Hard not to read that as go to hell

either way, she's not impressed]

wow what happened to women helping women?

if sex is so normal and healthy why aren't you having any

[craters]

I am helping you by directing you to appropriate resources.

And as I've done that satisfactorily, this conversation is concluded.

（ translation: go fuck yourself!! ）

[janescayre]

[ugh this is why Komaru is the only worthwhile chick alive, the rest of you are catty af]

oh nevermind

i've figured out why

enjoy your pillows and rosy palms!!!!!!!!!

sakura internally: but what does this MEAN

[craters]

（ ）

There's so much math in there

[janescayre]

[Perhaps she should have looked up the girly equivalent of rosy palms instead

But that would take effort

Figure it out bb girl, you're a smart one ✌️]

[philandery]

[ he's avoiding this post like the plague but also IT'S NOT LIKE THAT SAKURA!!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT HO ERA!!!!! ]

[craters]

（ SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM!!! ）

[philandery]

[ HOT HO SEASON FOR SAKURAS ONLY ]

[craters]

（ as if she'd even know what to do with it!! ）

[philandery]

[ become ungovernable ]