un: jonas. cw: blood chatter.

[coherer]

ik this is going to sound like an episode of 60 Minutes that never got aired, but I have smelled worryingly like blood for the past week or so.

Please pre-emptively cool it on the wild guesses, though. God forbid any of this winds up vaguely sexual like Keith's thing (F, buddy). No, I haven't even been injured lately. No, it's not my time of the month. No, I'm not actually a murderer. I woke up one day, sniffed foul air, and have been increasingly ill since.

Does anyone have any idea what I can even do about this? bc I feel like I've tried literally everything but bathing in bleach.

Oh, actually, for ppl who don't want to interact with my TMI, what are your favourite movies? I work at the theatre in Mirth now and I'll get a 2% raise if I bring in more traffic, so I kinda have a vested interest in knowing what kinds of things you'd wanna see screened. Set can't pay for everything yk lol.

Thanks.

Comments

@mikey

[invinciblemikey]

baking soda and coffee grounds.

[coherer]

Pardon me?

[invinciblemikey]

coffee is strong, it deodors stuff. might help for you to play with some.

baking soda removes it from your clothes.

text ↪ un: 012601 ↪ 🔒

[craters]

Can others smell it as well?

（ first step: figuring out if it's phantosmia or not. ）

[coherer]

Right, okay. So you're saying that if I mix up a potent cocktail of coffee grounds and baking soda and rub it all over myself and my clothes that the blood smell will go away?

This sounds fake, dude.

un: bmadrigal

[fallingsand]

You smell like blood? All the time?? For no apparent reason?!

[ Jonas, what the heck?! ]

text; un: keith

[spaceassassin]

[ had to bring it up, huh
couldn’t just let that post shrivel and die to fading memory

true bro, jonas is ]

so you haven’t tried everything

1/2

[coherer]

idk actually, I've been given a few looks, but I'm always given a few looks.

2/2

[coherer]

Wait.... why? Am I dying or smth????

( text | un: dream )

[dreamlords]

Have you done anything that would have made you smell like blood or is it spontaneously occurring?

[coherer]

That's p much the start and end of it, yeah.

I'm actually handling this way worse than it seems I am. js so you don't think I'm a psychopath for calmly going through the motions.

[coherer]

omg this is so similar to one of your first ever texts to me, remember?

Aww, I'm getting all misty-eyed and nostalgic.

[fallingsand]

I didn't think that but
You sound like you might be cursed? Smelling like blood all the time but there's no blood? That's got to be a curse.

[invinciblemikey]

then don't do it

[craters]

No.

If other people can smell it, it may be something as simple as a dietary imbalance.

If you're the only one that can smell it, it could be an olfactory hallucination known as phantosmia, which can be caused by a number of things, none of which are untreatable.

[spaceassassin]

[ >:l ]

shut up and take your bleach bath

[coherer]

I have not been a bad boy. I have been a surprisingly good boy, actually, which ig makes the answer to your question a big ol "no to the first one, yes to the second."

idek of any like srs medical condition that'd make me just suddenly smell like blood, but tbf I didn't know what shingles were until last year.

[coherer]

CURSED?

How?? Actually, just straight up why? Did I accidentally bump into an old woman who's actually a 500yo witch? idr ever doing smth like that. I was just carving pumpkins and shit, man.

[coherer]

omg Mikey don't be like that. I'll try it if you really think it'll help.

But fr if you're punking me, I'm gonna be so unhappy about it.

[fallingsand]

There had to be something you did. Can you remember doing anything
bad or
rude
Maybe you looked at someone funny and they took offense?
Not that that's a good reason to curse someone but you never know!

[coherer]

(...)

pls come smell me

[invinciblemikey]

it'd be fun to

i did wake up in a bad mood

but i ain't punkin you. it's what we do back home. tho it's just smell, right? might not work without the actual blood, the baking soda thing

[coherer]

yk there was this tv show called Strange Addictions and a chick on there actually would do that. It was super unhealthy.

Would you wish that on me?? Poor health?????

[coherer]

No, definitely not. I mean I don't think so.

(thinks back to the old lady who told him to go tell people he saw a dead lizard on the sidewalk so the harbourside workers could prepare for a flood but he got distracted by a hot guy who needed help instead

...)

Oh no

[spaceassassin]

[ jonas always with the pop culture references keith doesn’t understand
… but uh – what. bleach baths are a legit thing to some people
what world do you come from, dude ]

sounds like you’re already in poor health

why are you always on the verge of dying in this place