un: jonas. cw: blood chatter.

[coherer]

ik this is going to sound like an episode of 60 Minutes that never got aired, but I have smelled worryingly like blood for the past week or so.

Please pre-emptively cool it on the wild guesses, though. God forbid any of this winds up vaguely sexual like Keith's thing (F, buddy). No, I haven't even been injured lately. No, it's not my time of the month. No, I'm not actually a murderer. I woke up one day, sniffed foul air, and have been increasingly ill since.

Does anyone have any idea what I can even do about this? bc I feel like I've tried literally everything but bathing in bleach.

Oh, actually, for ppl who don't want to interact with my TMI, what are your favourite movies? I work at the theatre in Mirth now and I'll get a 2% raise if I bring in more traffic, so I kinda have a vested interest in knowing what kinds of things you'd wanna see screened. Set can't pay for everything yk lol.

Thanks.

Comments

[redsoil]

[ the first part confuses him too much, so he's skipping over it.

( some hedonistic god he is ) ]

IT'S UNSANITARY

[coherer]

Okay, so are you gonna wax all your peach fuzz? Or pull your eyelashes out?

Like I get maybe this is a cultural thing bc it sounds like a cultural thing, so I support you, but body hair actually protects your body from The Elements and stuff, yk?? Maybe you should stare at my leg hair until you get used to it. Like a form of immersion therapy hahhahahaha

[redsoil]

I don't want to stare at your legs!! I don't care if you have hair, just don't expect me to want to touch it! The foreign beast that attended me was so proud of his beard and hair, I don't understand the allure!

[coherer]

If you're sure........ the offer stands hahahahaha

Are you proud of your hair and makeup? It's like that kind of. I'm not trying to change your mind, but you said you didn't understand, so ig this is my attempt to show you the other side. I can't really grow more than stubble on my face though, but if I could it'd be considered """manly""" back home.

[redsoil]

You just want to be touched more. You can simply ask for contact!

[ He does reflect on what Jonas says; for a boisterous thing with a loud mouth and kneejerk reactions, he is also deeply curious. Learning is part of his nature. ]

I believe, I can understand - for you to put it that way, it makes sense. The foreigner than attended to me was also proud of his beard and body hair, though he was an uncouth guy who enjoyed pawing at me whenever he had the chance...

[coherer]

I'm not asking for it omg, contact must be freely given. Besides, I'm gross to you🤧🤧 brb crying

(he is not, in fact, crying. he is, however, blowing his nose loudly.

the knock-off vicks vaporub he smacked onto his chest is doing wonders for his congestion.)

wdym by "attended to me" and "pawing at me" anyway? Dude, was someone being a creep to you??

[redsoil]

Haa? What? Are you really crying over that? I have already seen you bare of clothing, Jonas, I know your legs are hairy. Are you upset because I don't like your legs??

[ AS FOR THE REST? ]

He was a foreigner who said he was in my service. He liked when I beat him up, so he'd do all sorts of weird things to earn it.

[ ]

[coherer]

No, they're fake tears. I'm being sarcastic. Furthermore, can we not bring my vulnerable naked body up in casual conversation??

Besides, talking about how creepy this dude is is way more important. Don't let just anyone enter your service or whatever, you gotta screen ppl.

(why jonas feels this is necessary is clear: set is a beautiful man, and people might horn in on him. IT CAN'T HAPPEN.)

[redsoil]

Are you that ashamed of your body? You are young and thin, but I will feed you well and you will grow up into what passes as a handsome human. Even with your hairy legs.

[ now he has to be teasing ]

And. Screen? People? Jonas, if someone is called into the service of a particular god, we do not turn them away! It's incomprehensible. I am not exactly a popular god these days. My temples and deeds and rights WERE stripped from me.

[coherer]

No, I'm not ashamed of my body, I just don't like to be randomly naked against my will. And you shouldn't be randomly naked against your will either.

And who cares if you're popular or not when you're almighty or whatever? I think Gods of all """beings""" can afford to be picky. Turn away creeps that make you uncomfortable. I'm serious.

(...)

Wait, you think I'm handsome?

(this is the most important part of all of this now)

[redsoil]

[ jonas you're confusing him, so he's skipping all that about gods basically NOT being the property of their humans ( one day ) ]

I think you have potential to become a very handsome adult. If you eat well!

[coherer]

Wow, the "potential," what a ringing endorsement. Technically I'm already an adult, or ig depending on how you see ages I'll be an adult in like a month lmfao

Sooo yk do what you want with that info ig

How old are you anyway??

[redsoil]

There is nothing wrong with having potential! You are still young and should not rush into adulthood, the way you seem to have been made to.

I do not really have an age, though. I am immortal - and time is not a linear thing for me. I suppose... if you must have an age, however old Egypt itself is? Perhaps slightly older than that.

[coherer]

I'm not rushing, trust me. I do not want adult responsibilities when I cannot even handle teenager responsibilities. It's just a fact that when I turn 19 in like a month-ish that I'm gonna be """an adult"""

(as always, he's floored by set's willingness to take responsibility and to meet the needs of someone still a young in his eyes. it's new, it's confusing, but most importantly, it's... desirable.

sure hope this coddling doesn't awaken something in him)

You're not an adult though, you're an old man. As old as sand lmfao. Actually, how old IS sand?? I failed geology.

Also I used to eat it as a kid. Sorry man.

[redsoil]

[ Perhaps when Jonas learns that all the god of war ever desired was family ( a child, his own ), it will become clear why Set is so avid a defender of his youthful freedoms. ]

I don't believe you're alone in that. I've seen plenty of human children doing the same.

You're always putting weird things in your mouths. Even my child had that phase.

[coherer]

(daddy)

tbh I think it boosts our immune systems bc after I tried to eat literally everything I barely got sick ever.

What's your child's name anyway? I'd feel weird calling him "that kid" all the time. Though ig he's probably not young anymore. What's he like?? I want to know more about him bc he's important to you.

[redsoil]

You're absurd, that's not how that works.

[ awakening something indeed huh ]

Anubis. His name is Anubis. However, I will tell you about him another time, in person.

[coherer]

C'mon you've probably accidentally eaten so much sand in your time.

(CONFESS!!!!!!!!!)

I like having those convos in person too. It just feels better, like I'm giving the respect deserved or smth. I'll swing by sometime, how about that??

[redsoil]

I am the god of the desert, I do not practice auto-cannibalism!

You may visit, provided you do not put anything that isn't meant to go into your mouth into it from henceforth. Especially sand. I would like to learn of your mother, as you learn of my son.

[coherer]

So if I chewed on your arm or smth would it turn into sand in my mouth??

(is this still pg-13)

nvm don't answer that. idk if I'm ready for the answer. Deal, I won't eat anything weird, and I'm willing to share stories. My mom's hard to talk about but not for lack of things to say about her.

I'm looking forward to it.