un: jonas. cw: blood chatter.

[coherer]

ik this is going to sound like an episode of 60 Minutes that never got aired, but I have smelled worryingly like blood for the past week or so.

Please pre-emptively cool it on the wild guesses, though. God forbid any of this winds up vaguely sexual like Keith's thing (F, buddy). No, I haven't even been injured lately. No, it's not my time of the month. No, I'm not actually a murderer. I woke up one day, sniffed foul air, and have been increasingly ill since.

Does anyone have any idea what I can even do about this? bc I feel like I've tried literally everything but bathing in bleach.

Oh, actually, for ppl who don't want to interact with my TMI, what are your favourite movies? I work at the theatre in Mirth now and I'll get a 2% raise if I bring in more traffic, so I kinda have a vested interest in knowing what kinds of things you'd wanna see screened. Set can't pay for everything yk lol.

Thanks.

Comments

2/2

[assana]

ps: Pride and Prejudice, yes! Popcorn's on me!

[coherer]

(the "go! shoo!" really does a number on jonas who actually pulls himself up from his sick bed—the couch, covered in blankets, pillows, and tissues—then lies right back down again.

overwhelmingly nauseous, he thinks waiting until he feels a bit better would be alright.)

Deal. God I haven't had popcorn in forever.

h/o though, can we back up a little? Someone actually fr ascended that you know of? Can you tell me a little more about that?

[assana]

⟪ welp. if only she had as much authority over the entire hierarchy. ⟫

I can only assume it’s what truly happened to him!
A few days before he disappeared, he was surrounded by light.
Literal light! Everywhere he went!
Claimed he had somewhere to be, spoke of his home, of a higher plane.
So much higher...
And then he boarded a ship and never came back.

[coherer]

(he had to board a ship to ascend?

jonas' lips press together, leaning onto the arm of his lodgings' couch to peer out the window down at the visible slice of harbour beyond. did he sail there? is the "higher plane" not straight up into the sky where heaven is meant to be?)

That's so crazy. I think I'd have another existential crisis if I saw smth like that.

Where do you think he was sailing to? I thought he'd just get beamed up randomly in the middle of cooking dinner or smth yk?? Lmfao

[assana]

⟪ maybe. the first step of one’s last journey. he did have to get higher, and not via anything you might find in mirth’s back alleys.

where have you heard about anything that might get you to such a place, jonas??? ⟫

Another?
Does it… happen regularly?
But I think he sailed to the Far Shores!
I mean, don’t quote me on that, it’s just speculation…
But it’s believed among us that when you feel the pull, you’ll find paradise there.
You can’t go otherwise, it’s waaaay too dangerous.

[coherer]

No, I'm jk around hahaha

(it happens regularly.)

But you have to sail through dangerous stuff to get to paradise? That doesn't sound very Ascend-y. tbh idk what I expected bc I came into this knowing it wouldn't be like 100% the same as going to Heaven or smth.

No one has any idea what the afterlife of an afterlife is like, probably.

[assana]

Oh! Well. That's a relief!

It really isn't what I expected to be, either... but I don't think anyone knows for sure what it's really like.
Some do claim that you just sort of go... poof. No sailing, no ships. You're here one second, gone the next.
In an explosion of light!
I like the sailing version more, I think.

[coherer]

The sailing version is kinda badass tbh, like the mental image is like smth from a movie lol

Think you'll poof soon? Have you been doing a lot of super good deeds like helping cats out of trees and walking old ladies across the road, etc??

[assana]

Wish I knew! Who knows how it's measured, really???
There IS a set of "primordial truths" that apparently helps.
Let me get it for you... here!

1. Practice patience.
2. Cultivate the higher Self.
3. Conquer the Shadow.
4. Make peace with yourself.
5. Make peace with the universe.
6. Perfect the positive virtues: compassion, courage, creativity, honesty, hope, humility, humor, love, perseverance, self-acceptance, and wisdom.

[coherer]

(............)

Holy shit

Do you have to do ALL of those???? Can you perfect like a couple of them and be sort of decent at the other ones???????

(PANICKING AT HOW SHITTY HE IS)