text; un: keith

[spaceassassin]

hey

[ so far so good ]

i got a friend who's got a problem
a big problem that's… small, i guess

anyone know a cure for shrinkage

Comments

text; un: itadori

[notpicky]

usually warming up a little works for me

...but I heard too much time in a hot bath is also bad

[spaceassassin]

[ shiro, the magic grow capsule toy
just get him wet and watch him expand

sounds legit ]

wait
this happened to you too?

[notpicky]

[ keith, buddy, you might be onto something ]

yeah!

I mean like, not all the time but like when I go swimming or like if I don't dress for the right weather

it goes right back to normal when I warm back up though! you need extra blankets or something? I can make a delivery!

[spaceassassin]

[ … yuuji pls. you did not just offer to personally deliver blankets specifically meant for dick warming activities.
place bets on how long it takes keith to realize this? ]

sounds more like you have a condition if you shrink in certain weather conditions

[ he knows an alien princess who can willingly change her size. so. anything’s possible?? ]

he’s not shivering
don’t think he’s smaller because he’s cold

[notpicky]

[ he did and he'll do it again!
but this is likely a dumb & dumber scenario on our hands and yuuji won't keep keith guessing ]

a condition?
I thought it was pretty normal for your junk to shrink a little when you're cold

did something else shrink??

[spaceassassin]

[ why does this keep happening ]

his junk isn’t shrinking!

[ … tho
technically…
NO NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT ]

he’s been cursed or something!
his whole body is shrinking

[notpicky]

( oh— )

Oh

( Yuuji runs the gamut of confusion to embarrassment to realization, probably in that order and perhaps a little faster than most. That tiny message hangs for only the briefest moments before he follows it up )

so like
he's a pocket friend

a pocket pal!

I mean I guess it's not really the best if he wants to stay a regular size pal...

do you know how to fix it?? I can loan you some cash!
although I don't have much
or I can help keep him safe in my pocket if you need to go get stuff to fix it!!
although I guess I could just help pick it up myself if you wanna keep him in your pocket instead

[spaceassassin]

[ yuuji is too pure for this world
unfortunately, keith does not appreciate this VERY WHOLESOME barrage of texts to the degree that they deserve

pocket pal pocket pal pocket pal ]

i’ll be keeping him in my pocket

[ send
wait shit. HE JUST MEANS ]

keeping him with me
it’ll be less disorientating for him

[ aka, keith trusts no one with shiro’s safety ]

i’m trying to figure out how to reverse the effects
no luck so far
difficult when we don’t know what triggered it in the first place

[notpicky]

( hope keith has fun explaining to shiro why yuuji only calls him pocket pal should their paths ever cross )

good idea! a familiar pocket is the best pocket

( yuuji what does this even mean )

but you know, whenever I don't feel good it's usually because I ate something weird. and we did just have all that weird food at the festival. did he eat any of that?

oh, or did he try that one place down at the harbors that always smells kinda worse than the other fish markets, but like, the fish is WAY cheaper and they give out the free fish pie samples and get mad if you have more than three?