un: jonas. cw: blood chatter.

[coherer]

ik this is going to sound like an episode of 60 Minutes that never got aired, but I have smelled worryingly like blood for the past week or so.

Please pre-emptively cool it on the wild guesses, though. God forbid any of this winds up vaguely sexual like Keith's thing (F, buddy). No, I haven't even been injured lately. No, it's not my time of the month. No, I'm not actually a murderer. I woke up one day, sniffed foul air, and have been increasingly ill since.

Does anyone have any idea what I can even do about this? bc I feel like I've tried literally everything but bathing in bleach.

Oh, actually, for ppl who don't want to interact with my TMI, what are your favourite movies? I work at the theatre in Mirth now and I'll get a 2% raise if I bring in more traffic, so I kinda have a vested interest in knowing what kinds of things you'd wanna see screened. Set can't pay for everything yk lol.

Thanks.

Comments

un: lottie

[oomfies]

[ It's the siren lure of 60 Minutes(tm) that prompts Lottie to actually read this post -- ]

can u smell other things?

[coherer]

(tv news magazines: babe magnets)

Good question. Yes, I can smell other things.

And thank God for that bc if I couldn't we'd be in the clutching-the-toilet-bowl phase for 24 hours a day, not just 4-8. Cigarettes are really helping me cope.

[oomfies]

have you thought about buying a humidifier or some candles?

[ OR NOT SMOKING BUT.. if it Helps it Helps!! ]

maybe the air is too dry where you are and it's fucking w/ your senses
& making you queasy

[coherer]

Actually, yk what, you may be onto smth bc my folks used to put a humidifier in my room every time I was sick to clear up my sinuses or whatever. I should go get one to at least stop this cough.

What about candles, like

Know any candle scents that can get rid of the worst shit? This smell really sticks in everything. ik that's awful and gross but I literally have no other recourse here than to ask for help publicly.

[oomfies]

[ Someone taking her idea.. And using it?? No one listens to her?! Lottie is pleasantly surprised, and Slightly More Invested™. ]

i think if you want to cancel out another smell you need something gaudy? it's like science.

you're gonna wanna look into more perfumey smells.. thinks that aren't natural
cinnamon caramel swirl would be good to try??? anything pine-y, minty maybe

[ A pause, as she looks over to a paper advert she got when she was shopping one time.. ]

bubbly bitch rosé has good reviews, too

[coherer]

Oh, okay, we're getting serious and breaking out the scientific method now. Hell yeah.

(they're getting somewhere with this. maybe he won't smell like coagulation for his entire life. maybe he'll just smell like an uber driver who wears far too much cologne.

which is the better existence, really?)

imo I clearly have to go with the bubbly bitch rosé, purely for the fact that it sounds hilarious. Rating? TRIVIAL.

Also a big fan of pine, too, which would actually probably jive better nose-palate-wise with any Vicks vapostuff I jam into the humidifier.

A plan is beginning to form here.

[oomfies]

[ He'll smell like a guy who just realized he could theoretically combine two different colognes at once and it'll be magnificent. Or terrible. Lottie isn't quite sure yet but his enthusiasm is clearly contagious, ]

about to light smth called champagne showers soooo 🤝 lol

[ This time she Isn't Lying, it's a gaudy little thing in her hands that outshines the glitter on her nails. ]

LMAO vicks is kind of the worst smell tbh.. always feels weird going up my nose
pine will at least be a little less invasive and make everything around you smell, not just your nostrils

......wait u found vicks here???

[coherer]

Good luck soldier, candles are such a coin toss. They smell different burnt than in the store yk like I used to smell-test for my mom and then she'd light it later and we'd have to evacuate lol

Anyway, I found a Vicks knock-off ig or their own weird convenience store brand. I smeared it all over my chest like it was a gd moisturizer so I hope it's not toxic........ [insert nervous laugh here] I should've tried some on my wrist first but I like to take significant risks obviously.

(the least risky thing in the world)

I feel you, though. This is like THE "I'm sick" smell, so I just purely associate it with having a chest cold or smth.

[oomfies]

[ That is a risk.. Both being a scent tester (she'll feel guilty for doing the same, later) and wondering if some random foreign '''''vicks'''''' won't secretly cause death. Really, she'd do the same thing, down to the paranoia and using it without testing anything. ]

tbh i think you'll be fine.. if it's at the undead equivalent of cvs it must have some standards, right?
but also in ur defense that's what you're supposed to do w/ vicks so you're not WRONG

now that u mention it though.. ugh, yeah

vicks works but it's just an awful reminder that 'i'm sick! hello? help please??'
it's even more irritating bc yeah you're sick and you can't smell anything but you sure can smell that Vicks Smell 🙄

[coherer]

(being paranoid and still never following the directions is a potent and popular dumbass combination)

I am beyond happy you brought up CVS, there aren't enough earth refs to go around out here lol

tbh Vicks makes me feel contagious yk what I mean? Like I feel radioactive or like a biohazard or smth. And don't get me started on Buckleys and other meds that taste like ass.

Can I ask where you're from??

[oomfies]

[ What the heck.. He's a mind reader. She was going to ask the same thing as soon as he acknowledged CVS! And also those other brands (indeed, Lottie is That Girl who has tried them all..)?! Could it be.. Someone from her era??? ]

los angeles, california

[ She even spelled it out.. This is how invested she is. ]

wbu??

[coherer]

(this is uncanny. he doesn't know why he hadn't expected to connect with another twenty-first-century earthling in purgatory, but at this point, isn't everything fair game?

someone with an octopus for a head could walk up to him in the street now and he'd probably ask them their stance on sushi.)

Wow, look at you, rich big city girl LMFAO

I'm from Westedge, Oregon originally, but I'd just moved to this place on the coast called Camena?? It's super tiny, like I don't expect you to know where either town is but there are a lot of trees and far too few Waffle Houses.

Did you like living in LA?