netherwork | un: jonas. cw: blood chatter.

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un: jonas. cw: blood chatter.

ik this is going to sound like an episode of 60 Minutes that never got aired, but I have smelled worryingly like blood for the past week or so.

Please pre-emptively cool it on the wild guesses, though. God forbid any of this winds up vaguely sexual like Keith's thing (F, buddy). No, I haven't even been injured lately. No, it's not my time of the month. No, I'm not actually a murderer. I woke up one day, sniffed foul air, and have been increasingly ill since.

Does anyone have any idea what I can even do about this? bc I feel like I've tried literally everything but bathing in bleach.

Oh, actually, for ppl who don't want to interact with my TMI, what are your favourite movies? I work at the theatre in Mirth now and I'll get a 2% raise if I bring in more traffic, so I kinda have a vested interest in knowing what kinds of things you'd wanna see screened. Set can't pay for everything yk lol.

Thanks.

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[very helpfully:]

Gross.

Did you roll in something weird?

Yes, I put my rubber booties on, found a puddle of blood, and jumped right in.

Friends joined me after seeing how much fun I was having. Soon we were all giggling and splashing each other and wrestling in it. You really missed out.

Edited 2022-11-14 05:44 (UTC)

[INSOLENCT BOY CHILD]

I'M BEING SERIOUS

There's all kinds of cursed plants and weird magical crap around here, you can't be sure you didn't touch something that put a hex on you!

Oh

(...)

Sorry, my default sarcasm setting is at like 90/100, I'm working to get that down to like a manageable 75 but it's hard going when all this bullcrap keeps happening.

I don't think I rolled in any cursed plants?? I was chilling at the festival carving pumpkins and stuff, just trying to mind my own business. There was the body swap stuff and the drugged food/drinks but nothing else comes to mind.

Apparently it's not contagious either bc I think a few ppl I hung out with would smell like this, including you lol

[Well. She can't fault him for that.]

There definitely is an excess of bullshit.

This is the first I've heard about body swapping? What, as in you possessed someone else's body?

I would have hunted you down already if you got this blood curse crap on me, trust me. Maybe it's something you didn't recognize as a danger at the time. It's like how a peaceful stroll through the woods can land you with a tick bite and a surprise case of lyme disease. You might not have even noticed what caused it at all.

Check the library, maybe there's a precedent.

Yeah, we totally switched bodies. Gave my other crazy experiences in life a run for their money, I'm still traumatized about it.

This totally sounds on-brand for me, though, just not paying attention and messing smth up. So it could be literally anything at this point. Mr. Madrigal is taking a look in the library for me bc I got suggested a specific author.

idk why I find it weird everyone suggested reading a book first, but ig you're just all nerds.🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

Wait, whose body did you switch with? Was it a woman?

[EYES EMOJI, what scandal...please give deets]

What's wrong with books? They're a boundless fountain of knowledge and a link to our past, and a guideline for our future! They can provide escape and comfort from dreary lives. They're a portal into the human soul itself!

Don't tell me you're one of those kids who glues his eyeballs to video games and TV all day.

It was actually, in fact, both..... which like... turning into a girl was intensely weird as you can imagine, but getting put into a god's body was way freakier. I felt like I was gonna expand into nothing.

Anyway, books are just hard for me. idk maybe I can't read as good as other ppl or think I could be doing smth else with my time. I read a bunch when I was away from home, but the books there just made me actually dislike the whole activity more.

ps I do none of those things. You've got a super flattering impression of me yk that? LOL

Sure I like games and tv/movies, but I spend most of my time outside actually. Exercising, hiking, whatever. Used to hang out a lot with random ppl too, go to parties, etc.

[Deadeyes]

A god?

[Pull the other one.]

Obviously you just haven't tried hard enough. Or maybe you haven't found your genre. What were you doing away from home? Were you in a boarding school?

You're a teenage boy, I made an educated guess. But I see now that you're another meatheaded jock. It makes sense why books exhaust you.

(nvm that he skims over her questions about his time away. nvm.)

I have facets yk. I'm not entirely one category of the stereotypical human being. I'm sure I'd read a book if it was cool. And I like documentaries. Do meathead jocks like documentaries???

I'm now trying too hard, aren't I.

If I'm a jock, you're a big ol nerd. You've even got the nerd glasses.

The God's name is Set btw. If you get a chance, you should really talk to him. It's like weirdly calming bc he's a bit of a mess, so I come away from our talks like "Gods are disasters, too" and idk it appeals to a religious-but-jaded piece of my soul.

yk such as it is.

[SUSPICIOUS. Expect her to circle back to that someday Jonas, points to eyes points to you.]

I suppose that's a point in your favor. What sorts of documentaries?

BE QUIET! Lots of dignified people have glasses! Just because I prefer to stay inside and read doesn't make me a sweaty embarrassment!

[Too bad she is an actual sweaty embarrassment...]

You mean like the Egyptian god of war? Why the hell would he be here? They're not real. He's probably just delusional. Or just a powerful person that got mistaken for a god.

(COVERS EYES, ERECTING A SHIELD BETWEEN THEM AND THE POINTING)

Nerds don't have to be sweaty embarrassments who wear glasses, they just have to be know-it-alls who wear glasses..... oh wait, that'd make you a DORK. Yeah, going back to the early 00s with that one lol

(the worst teasing attempt of all time)

Anyway, I like war documentaries lol I like that kind of stuff ig. The military, the tech they build for it, and just radiation and stuff. Obviously, bc of my typing "stuff" repeatedly, you can tell that my interest is intense.

I'm 100% serious about Set though. They're really real, like I was inside of him.

(could've worded that better. or could he have????)

The intense pressure of that was like totally overwhelming. idk how to describe it. It scared the crap out of me.

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un: jonas. cw: blood chatter.

@harukaze

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no subject

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insolenct...my shame is forever immortalized........

i wish i'd noticed so i could tell you but now i can make it a meme so.........

EVIL

school is bending me over so i am SO SLOW, FORGIVE ME

i forgive you and bring you cut fruits and veggies and a water for strength

THAT'S SO HELPFUL, CRIES

I HOPE THE EXAMS HAVE BEEN GOING WELL!!!

THANKS FRIEND, I MADE IT