un: jonas. cw: blood chatter.

[coherer]

ik this is going to sound like an episode of 60 Minutes that never got aired, but I have smelled worryingly like blood for the past week or so.

Please pre-emptively cool it on the wild guesses, though. God forbid any of this winds up vaguely sexual like Keith's thing (F, buddy). No, I haven't even been injured lately. No, it's not my time of the month. No, I'm not actually a murderer. I woke up one day, sniffed foul air, and have been increasingly ill since.

Does anyone have any idea what I can even do about this? bc I feel like I've tried literally everything but bathing in bleach.

Oh, actually, for ppl who don't want to interact with my TMI, what are your favourite movies? I work at the theatre in Mirth now and I'll get a 2% raise if I bring in more traffic, so I kinda have a vested interest in knowing what kinds of things you'd wanna see screened. Set can't pay for everything yk lol.

Thanks.

Comments

[redsoil]

— sutekh

Bet.

[coherer]

Sometimes you say the scariest things totally casually and I resent that about you.

You still make a good point about the coffee. Coffee's got a strong smell, right? So it just makes sense that it could help in some way like

idk anything's better than what I currently have going on.

[craters]

（ did you have to phrase it like... that. sakura lifts her eyes to the ceiling and just... she chose this path. she is a doctor. a medical professional. she can handle being asked to smell her friends.

it isn't weird.

... it's a little weird. ）

Okay.

Where are you?

[coherer]

bc I'm an idiot, Keith. What do you want from me.

un: 火

[chokuto]

Are you intoxicated again?

[This is the reputation you have with him now, Jonas.]

[invinciblemikey]

but you still have your pinky. thought we were good.

(NOW he's fucking with you, jonas.)

i'll help. where you at?

(PLEASE GIVE HIM SWEET DISTRACTION.)

un: lottie

[oomfies]

[ It's the siren lure of 60 Minutes(tm) that prompts Lottie to actually read this post -- ]

can u smell other things?

[coherer]

(stares slack-jawed at this for way too long)

Huh??

[coherer]

(stares out the window like javert, humiliated)

ty Sakura.

I'm hiding out at my place bc I'm treating myself like the community leper. Do you remember where it is?

[fallingsand]

Oh no? OH NO? Oh no what?!

[coherer]

(pLEASE)

Okay, who even is this? bc that was one time.

[coherer]

No no no, you will not help. You will do the opposite of help and sit on your hands far away, bc rubbing coffee grounds on my body is an intimate, solo job, not a group activity.

If you've got any more suggestions though, I'll take those for free.

[invinciblemikey]

... jonas you're not my type. ew

i'm bringing you the coffee, is all.

[spaceassassin]

for you to stop almost dying??

[coherer]

(tv news magazines: babe magnets)

Good question. Yes, I can smell other things.

And thank God for that bc if I couldn't we'd be in the clutching-the-toilet-bowl phase for 24 hours a day, not just 4-8. Cigarettes are really helping me cope.

[coherer]

Touché.......

I promise I've only almost died a few times so far. Like idk what the avg "close call" range is here but I think so far I'm operating squarely within it.

[coherer]

I may have disappointed a superstitious old woman.

[redsoil]

[ do you not like that he's picking up The Mortal Lingo, jonas? ]

You said that I cannot pay for everything, and I said 'bet'.

As in, 'do you want to bet on that'.

[craters]

（ it's not over until you're played by russel crowe, jonvert. ）

Sure do.

I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?

[coherer]

I'm thrilled bc you're like 40yo.

Seriously, man. I'm mortified and worried as it is, I'm not feeling up to anyone but Dr. Haruno swinging by to see me. She's undoubtedly seen/smelled worse.

[invinciblemikey]

............................ forty?

seriously?

[fallingsand]

That
might do it, I guess?
What did you do?

[coherer]

Wow, I genuinely underestimated how quickly you'd get with the times. I owe you a big fat apology.

ik you'd be good for it and I'm not saying I won't still need help, but a man has to make his own way eventually, right? You're gonna spoil me rotten, then I'll explode or smth instead of ascending.

[redsoil]

I learned from the best. I even know "lol" and "xoxo" now.

[ that'd be you, young man ]

There is no purpose in spoiling you, Jonas. I am only taking care of your needs, so that you may focus on your youth. Honestly, I had thought you were issuing me a challenge, or perhaps attempting to insult me just now. Am I that stifling?

[chokuto]

If it was one time, shouldn't you know?

[Is his asshole nature cluing you in yet.]

We didn't meet physically in any normal way. You were helpful despite the senseless rambling.