text; un: keith

[spaceassassin]

hey

[ so far so good ]

i got a friend who's got a problem
a big problem that's… small, i guess

anyone know a cure for shrinkage

Comments

[spaceassassin]

[ help him
he is socially awkward and emotionally stunted
he does not perceive ]

yeah
they’ve been pretty useless

[ public domain, keith ]

[constellational]

⟪ KEITH NO. not everyone understands keith-flavored speech!! ⟫

Keith
They’ve only misunderstood
I’m sure they'd be more helpful
If they knew my whole body was shrinking

⟪ instead of being under a terrible assumption!! the general consensus here has left him a bit flushed. pls have mercy. ⟫

[spaceassassin]

[ shiro, stop defending those of tainted brains ]

that’s the obvious conclusion they should’ve come to
i set them straight
still no solutions

[ so yeah
pretty useless ]

[constellational]

⟪ LISTEN. his own mind's in the gutter sometimes. despite all appearances, shiro is not, in fact, perfect.

you should've set them gay. ⟫

Well
If they stopped assuming the worst
I'd say that's pretty decent progress

Regardless, you tried to help
That's all that matters

[spaceassassin]

[ shiro not perfect?
shut your mouth
keith will fight you ]

so does this mean you’re not upset

[ with him
you know, for unintentionally spreading gossip that WEIRDOS misinterpreted ]

[constellational]

⟪ SORRY TO DISAPPOINT KEITH BUT

looks like you're gonna have to fight shiro ⟫

Nah
My ego's a little bruised
but I've had deeper wounds

⟪ HE'S. JOKING!! ⟫

I was never upset, Keith

[spaceassassin]

[ … he’ll be gentle ]

ok

[ five
four
three
two
one
incoming second text ]

did you read everything

[constellational]

⟪ ...squints. ⟫

Only some

⟪ though he's reading between the lines now and it vaguely states that he probably shouldn't dig deeper.

so he's gonna dig deeper. ⟫

Alright
let's hear it
How bad is it?

[spaceassassin]

[ SHIRO. BAD
D< ]

not bad at all
you shouldn’t waste your time

[ keith needs to put more skill points into persuasion ]

[constellational]

Yeah?
Anything specific I shouldn't waste my time on?

⟪ teasing his bff is a lot more fun than drowning in mortification ngl

the deets, keets. ⟫

[spaceassassin]

[ he’s being teased
this calls for retaliation ]

i can see you btw
you’re in firing range of this pillow

[ keith: up top in the loft
shiro: sitting duck ]

[constellational]

⟪ w o w. and he's not even bluffing. one glance up and shiro immediately catches the silhouette of a gremlin against the window. ⟫

You wouldn't dare

⟪ text-to-speech doesn't sound threatening enough; he opts to yell instead, lifting his arm to reveal tiny balls of white fluff in his lap. ⟫

I'm armed to the teeth!

[spaceassassin]

[ phone goes down, window is pushed open, pillow is picked up ]

What’re you gonna do? Throw one at me?

[ TSK TSK ]

Didn’t know you had it in you.

[constellational]

Do you have it in you?

⟪ keith unsurprisingly plays dirty and shiro feigns a barely-there gasp, immediately gathering the buns closer to his stomach. ⟫

Don’t worry, I’ve got you. ⟪ and then, even louder: ⟫ Throw that pillow and our revenge will be swift! ⟪ allura, the smallest one, hops onto his shoulder to nuzzle his jaw. ⟫ And really cute!

[spaceassassin]

[ he’ll just be stretching out on his belly, chin propped on the back of his hand as he peers down at the deck. draaaaag and hold: he grins and then releases his hold on the pillow. his aim is off. purposefully, of course. the pillow hits the deck a good two feet from his friend. ]

I’m not scared of you or your fleet of furballs.

[ bring it shirogane ]