text; un: keith

[spaceassassin]

hey

[ so far so good ]

i got a friend who's got a problem
a big problem that's… small, i guess

anyone know a cure for shrinkage

Comments

[spaceassassin]

the vampire thing started about a week before
i know vampires can shrink to turn into bats
but he’s not turning into a bat

[ look at this dumbass spouting nonsense about vampires
does he get a pass for being desperate and worried and confused ]

[theorems]

Sounds... unrelated, unfortunately. Just two afflictions happening simultaneously.

["Unfortunately, shrinking isn't common in vampire mythos," is really what he's saying.]

Have you gone to a doctor here yet? If not, now would be the time.