text; un: keith

[spaceassassin]

hey

[ so far so good ]

i got a friend who's got a problem
a big problem that's… small, i guess

anyone know a cure for shrinkage

Comments

[unalign]

A ... part of them or in general?

[mercedis]

Sounds like magic. I've seen that kind of thing happen before.

Your friend touch something they weren't supposed to?

[spaceassassin]

?????????
so are we just in fantasyland now or what
no one said anything about embracing

[janescayre]

but you said there was a problem with shrinking

What precious piece of anatomy could that be??? 🤔

[notpicky]

[ keith, buddy, you might be onto something ]

yeah!

I mean like, not all the time but like when I go swimming or like if I don't dress for the right weather

it goes right back to normal when I warm back up though! you need extra blankets or something? I can make a delivery!

[declass]

I must apologize, but none of what you said made any sense.

un: fraldarius

[boarwitness]

Delete this.

[he's two for two for horny network posts]

Why does everyone have to deal with you exhibitionists.

[spaceassassin]

if that’s it, then do you think the shrinking can be reversed by a change in mindset

[spaceassassin]

[ squint
thinking
processing
… still doesn’t connect ]

all of him
it started yesterday
he’s already a few inches shorter

[spaceassassin]

[ … yuuji pls. you did not just offer to personally deliver blankets specifically meant for dick warming activities.
place bets on how long it takes keith to realize this? ]

sounds more like you have a condition if you shrink in certain weather conditions

[ he knows an alien princess who can willingly change her size. so. anything’s possible?? ]

he’s not shivering
don’t think he’s smaller because he’s cold

[spaceassassin]

[ EXCUSE YOU SIR
KEITH DOES WHAT HE WANTS WHEN HE WANTS WHERE HE –

come again? ]

that word doesn’t mean what you think it does
because what

[ – the fuck ]

[spaceassassin]

hard to say
a lot of stuff here seems off limits but we have to interact with it anyway

he was collecting herbs in the shadowlands
but that was a week ago

[ or, well, his best estimate of a week ]

1/3

[spaceassassin]

all of him
all of him is shrinking
all of his PRECIOUS ANATOMY

[spaceassassin]

[ oh

wait






a… ha… ]

[spaceassassin]

you’re being this way on purpose right
you didn’t actually think i was talking about that

[spaceassassin]

me friend
he’s shrinking
a little more each day
i want to stop him from shrinking
do you know a solution

how was that
simplified enough to follow

[janescayre]

you mean his WHOLE BODY?

[wow. holy shit. okay then??]

Come on Sheathe what else was i supposed to think?????

isn't the natural conclusion the natural occurence???

not the once in a lifetime freak accident???

how small is he now

send me a pic

[zangetsu]

no one wants to hear about some guy's junk on the network.

i'd say you're the one clogging up the space

[declass]

Did he eat anything unusual?
Gone anywhere that he hadn't been to recently?
Angered anyone who may have a shrinking ability?

[unalign]

[ mannnnnn she's getting confused now ]

Isn't that normal, though?

[midway]

You can try, if you have time.

Is it urgent?

un: shiro

[constellational]

⟪ THIS IS A TRAINWRECK TAKE THAT PHONE AWAY FROM HIM. ⟫

Yep
somehow I should have expected that
Know any way to shrink faster?

[mercedis]

Is he safe? Figure I have to ask if you're watching over him.

( this is a friendly jab. or whatever. cloud sucks at making friends. )

[spaceassassin]

he’s shrinking
of course it’s urgent

[ can a text sound exasperated?
okay, he should play nice. this is one of the few who has actually suggested some sort of remedy ]

it isn’t continuous though
the shrinking seems to come in waves
by the day, maybe
started yesterday and happened again this morning

[ er, time after waking
right. time. doesn’t exist here
just – YOU KNOW WHAT HE MEANS ]

[spaceassassin]

[ same lumine, same ]

no??