[ANONYMOUS] | text | A few days after the festival (implied nsfw)

[janescayre]

[This message may be 100% anonymous, but perhaps you recognize the texting style? If you were bold enough to message her on Soulidarity perhaps you've figured it out at once. Otherwise, ~*~IT'S A MYSTERY~*~ Dare ye solve it?

At least one guy will recognize the culprit. Sucks to suck, Sylvain.]

HEEELLOOOOOO MY SWEET CHERRY PIE!! 🍒🥧🍒 Where are you right now? Are you dreaming about me?



Because I just can't get you out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I feel your body on mine. When I look to the fields I can't help the blush on my face! I've never gone that far with anyone before! Especially in public. And you're just so BIG 🤩!!! I couldn't believe it, I didn't think I could take you on. We made such a mess too, didn't we? 😜 Did you get it all out of your clothes? I had to scrub extra hard myself

When can I see you again? I'll be prepared this time. I promise. You're just the sweetest slice of heaven I've ever had, and I can't wait for another taste 😈

call me baby

XOXOXO 💋💋💋🍆🍑




[And like five seconds after this gets posted:]

OH NO IT GOT SENT TO EVERYONE 😱 HOW EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOBODY LOOK!!!!!! 😭😭

Comments

[acknowledgement]

[...]

who is this

[chokuto]

It's you, isn't it? You used those symbols. It's an obvious code.

[Now that Sakura has told him emojis = code.]

Who you think I am? Don't be an idiot.

1/3

[acknowledgement]

[Listen, he was still totally lost until the insult.]

oh it's just Sasuke

[There goes your secret identity.]

[acknowledgement]

[Wait a goddamn minute.]

[acknowledgement]

WHY ARE YOU EAVESDROPPING ON MY MESSAGES TO THE FOUR-EYES PERVERT
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX WITH YOU
GET OUTTA HERE BASTARD

[craters]

（ well, now she's thinking about it

...

...

sai/sasuke has a new challenger ig???? ）

[chokuto]

[she just like me fr]

[chokuto]

[Ugh whatever... Set already outed him... It's not like he's hiding his name, just Everything Else.]

I'm not talking about it with you either. I'm just correcting what you said. This message isn't meant for you, so don't bother. This woman is irrational and disgusting.

But are you saying you know her?

[acknowledgement]

yeah i know her…
she’s got really shitty taste and that’s all i'm gonna say!!

[His pride as an eligible bachelor is still stung.]

wait i'm not saying
uh
i mean her taste in guys
I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WITH HER

[SAKURA DON’T LOOK.]

[chokuto]

I didn't think that you did.

[Stop digging this hole deeper for yourself.]

If I were you, I'd avoid her from now on.

[acknowledgement]

[Naruto pauses, eyes narrowing.]

oh yeah!? why not?
just cuz i was never as popular as you were?

and i'm not gonna avoid her over something like this
in a way
it's kinda familiar
i mean there's a reason i called Jiraiya "Pervy Sage"

[chokuto]

That has nothing to do with it. Wouldn't you be more offended if I said I expected you to be involved with someone like this?

I don't want to know about your reasons for calling him that.

[tmi]

[acknowledgement]

no!? so she's perverted...big deal!
there are a lot worse things a person could be

[Like, they could be Orochimaru for starters.]

fine! i didn't want to talk to you about him anyway

[You actually hurt his feelings, Sasuke. BE MORE CAREFUL AROUND THE JIRAIYA ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.]

anyway don't judge her too harshly over something like this
she's kinda funny

[chokuto]

[Somewhere, Sasuke is sighing, because he can sense that he did hurt Naruto's feelings and now he doesn't know how to apologize for it. Also, after the discussion with Sakura, he's somewhere on mixed ground about his opinion of this weird lady.]

Talk to Sakura about this. The post, I mean.

[She'd be more delicate about unhinged perverts and dead sensei.]

[acknowledgement]

i WILL
but i'm talking to YOU now

[chokuto]

This isn't the place for a discussion.

[acknowledgement]

eh?
how come

[chokuto]

Because it's public. Anything we say here can be read by strangers. We could lock the conversation, but I'd rather you messaged me directly if you want to continue.

[acknowledgement]

[nani the fuck]

oh okay

[Ten minutes pass.]

how

1/2

[chokuto]

[remind him why you're his favorite person in the world again]

[chokuto]

You didn't look at the manual, did you? It was right there.

[acknowledgement]

what manual

and how do YOU know it was right there?
right where huh??
are you saying i'm blind???

[chokuto]

Right next to the device. Behind your door in the Shadowlands.

That was where I found mine. It wouldn't make sense for it to be located somewhere else.

[idk man, maybe you are blind]

[acknowledgement]

nope
there's no way!
if you saw my place you’d understand

i searched all over the cliffs anyway
looking for my missing Tethers
i would’ve seen a manual if it existed

[To be fair to Naruto, the manual is sitting in a second room of his Shadowlands home, one that he's barely explored.]

Okay tags you fr, hi there

[janescayre]

[she looks away for two seconds and this dumbass is ready to blow her cover?

Damn. Life comes at you fast. What to do, what to do?

.... PERHAPS innocence can best be maintained at the source. Responding here is guilty af, and while she wants to have her fun she's not keen on Gloomy catching somebody's fists unawares.]